Transformers - CRASHER!

Velocitron Speedia 500 Collection (Walmart) - Crasher - Hasbro 2022

Someday somebody is going to make a great Crasher toy. When I try to conjure my earlier childhood memories of this character, they are all terrifying. I remember her being tall and blocky with an expressively sinister face and a maniacal laugh. And an additional level of fright was her favorite mode of destruction - stomping. Other cartoon villains of the 80's utilized weird ray guns or elaborate traps with nets and cages. They always seemed (intentionally?) laughable and non-threatening. But stomping was a palpable and universal threat. So, to take a character with a handful of simple and iconic characteristics and repeatedly miss the mark is baffling. I was excited at the news of an official Crasher figure in the Transformers universe (as opposed to a simple homage figure). Especially since there are so many female bucks to choose from these days. But no, they focus 100% on presenting an accurate racecar mode and give us a robot form that is Crasher in palette only. Sigh.

Dx9 Toys - COCOMONE!

3rd Party Transformers - DX9-D03C Cocomone (Go-Bots Crasher) - Dx9 Toys 2015

I think Crasher is forever doomed to get toy representations that are just re-decoed male characters. But considering that her character is literally developed from a repurposed genderless (but male-presenting) Machine Robo toy, I give her a pass. When I think back to my various childhood traumas, a surprisingly high number of them center around animation. The flying skeleton girls from Return of the King, everything about Rikki Tikki Tavi, and the frighteningly insane cackle of Crasher from Go-Bots. The way she would stomp around was equally scary. Yet you could always find me glued to the TV waiting for a glimpse of her.  As one of the most iconic Go-Bots characters, I'm surprised there hasn't been more merchandise for her. The vintage Go-Bots toy is the only official item (with some variant re-releases), followed by the Transformers Fracture homage, and finally this 3rd Party Cocomone figure. I'm still waiting for a perfect representation (ideally an original sculpt!) But until then this Cocomone is pretty terrific.

Transformers FRACTURE (aka GoBots CRASHER)!

Transformers (2007 Movie) - Allspark Power - Fracture - Walmart Exc Hasbro 2007

Few villains scared me as a child quite as much as Crasher from GoBots. She was erratic, psychotic, and she stomped around in a thunderous rampage. Truly frightening. I feel like a lot of villains in my childhood cartoons were simplified with comic buffoonery, making them much more palatable for their young audiences. But Crasher wasn't pulling any punches. I always wanted there to be a great action figure of her. The vintage figure was blocky and nondescript. Then nada. But in 2007, Hasbro released this Generations Mirage repaint as a Walmart exclusive named Fracture in their products from the first live-action movie. While this not a perfect representation, she was still a terrific first attempt. Since then there was a decent 3rd Party homage to her (again, a repainted male body), but I still have high hopes for a perfect version eventually. She's too iconic to go unrepresented forever, even if the licenses are in locked down in obscurity. But in the meantime, I'm happy to make due with what we have.

Jewel Lords SOLITAIRE!

GO-BOTS Rock Lords Series 3: Rock Jewels - SOLITAIRE from Tonka 1987

The Go-Bots cartoon series was full of awesome female characters, unfortunately very few were made into decent toys.  Of the few that were immortalized in plastic, the best of the bunch would be the Rock Jewel, Solitaire.  The Rock Jewels (or Jewel Lords) were a subset of a subset:  Go-Bots > Rock Lords > Rock Jewels.  The Rock Jewels had the distinction of having clear gemstone rockforms.  Solitaire was introduced in the 1986 theatrical release of Go-Bots: Battle of the Rock Lords where she was a heroic ally to the Go-Bots.  She was voiced by Margot Kidder soon after her reprisal of Lois Lane in Superman III.  The character seems an odd choice to be made into a toy, but she is definitely the best fembot representation from the 80s (in my humble opinion).